So...That Happened.

1.) On the first day of school I thought I would be well-rested, well-prepared, and punctual. With these good intentions I started out for class well ahead of time. In fact, I was doing brilliantly. I surprised even myself! I arrived a good ten minutes early, found a desk and started laying out my pens and books. I was quite proud of myself (because, to be honest, I'm not known for my time management skills.) Only then did I start to look around my classroom. My thought process went something like well, this is a nice classroom. Not bad, Emily, not bad. You're doing all right here. Ten minutes early, your pens are all nice and symmetrical on your desk, you're doing all right. Hey, that's funny, you know, there's a lot of upperclassmen in my English 101 class, that's not real promising. Actually, I don't see any faces I recognize. That's weird. Where are all the freshmen? So by that time I'm beginning to realize there's something fishy going on. I turned around in my seat and asked resignedly of the girl behind me "this isn't my English 101 class, is it?"

 

2.) On my first Saturday at school I spilled a glass of milk. I spilled a glass of milk all over the table. I spilled a glass of milk into a boy's lap. It was all quite by accident. They asked me to pass a napkin box. I was paying attention to the conversation! They should have known better than to ask me to pass a napkin box! They would learn to know better. Whoops, went the napkin box! Whoops, went the glass of milk! I spent the rest of the meal alternately apologizing and turning beet red.

 

So then I almost got run over by a car. I decided it was a good idea to start a conversation with the boy I had spilt milk on. Play it cool, try and show I wasn't a nincompoop, I could hold a conversation without spilling milk! We're walking out into the parking-lot, I'm not looking where I'm going, next thing I know he's saying "Look out! There's a car right behind you!" I twirl around and realized I just about died. So that story adds a new meaning to "no use crying over spilt milk."

 

3.) I forgot someone's name. That's a natural enough thing to do, we met a lot of people in those first couple weeks of school. The only thing was, instead of doing the normal thing and simply asking for a reintroduction I just pretended I knew it...for a couple of weeks...

 

Until finally someone said it and I had an Aha! moment. Not doing that again.

 

4.) On my last day of the Semester my favorite teacher came up to me and started a conversation. It made my day. I dropped my soup. That did not. I think I just got really interested in what he was saying, or maybe I was just excited, or maybe I was flustered. WHO KNOWS. All I know is one minute I had a cup of steaming soup in one hand and a spoon in another, next thing I knew both were splattered on the floor!

 

5.) So in math class one day the professor was talking about ancient mathematicians, and we came across the quote about the "Moving Finger" and he asked what book that reference was from and I must have been daydreaming because I got really excited and shot my hand up and was like "SHAKESPEARE." No, Emily, this was before Shakespeare. Long before. This was THE BIBLE. I'm sorry, I was just thinking about how Agatha Christie's book was named The Moving Finger and she got that out of Shakespeare and he must have got that out of THE BIBLE. Duh.

 

6.) Italian night I was swing dancing with a boy and my shoe came right off my foot and went flying across the room. "Just a second" I said, trying to muster what grace I had left as I trotted off to find my shoe and return to my partner to finish our dance. He just looked at me with his eyes round, as if to say how did that just happen.

 

7.) One night when I was on the phone with my Mom I dropped a cement block on my foot. Don't ask me how. Again, it was one of those situations, where I just don't have a clue. Anyhow, my foot was quite bruised, and then I was shelving books at the library and I found the biggest book possible (it was one of Michelangelo, and you know how big those get!) and proceeded to promptly drop it on the same foot. Why, Michelangelo, why? Why would you do that to poor little Emily?

 

8.) Did I mention that at the end of last summer I smashed my thumb in the car door? I nearly fainted. Literally. So during school my thumb nail fell off, I decided my thumb without it's nail looked like the Phantom of the Opera's face, and proceeded to sing Phantom of the Opera songs to my roommate. I hope she appreciated that. It took effort.