Dickens Night With Ally

This semester I'm living by a new goal, a goal that corresponds perfectly with this quote:

“Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to. Stay home on New Year's Eve if that's what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story. Make a deal with yourself that you'll attend a set number of social events in exchange for not feeling guilty when you beg off.” 
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

This is not to say I am not planning on pushing myself, I've simply made a resolution to stop pushing myself to the point where I'm unhappy about it. Perhaps that sounds strange, but that's what I did last semester. I was so caught up in the idea that I had to be social, I had to meet people, I had to push myself to be outgoing, extroverted and enjoy myself in doing so, but in the process I lost my sense of perspective. I pushed myself to a point where I came away feeling drained, unhappy, and insecure. 

That is not what your free time should feel like. It is important to set out time to socialize, but only to the extent that you come away feeling refreshed and invigorated. It's also important to set out introvert time. There is a time for visiting, a time for laughter with friends, but there is also a time for quiet, for tea, and for what Jane Austen would call tête–à–tête conversation (the private conversation between two persons), and thus was Dickens night born.

Dickens Night is the night of the week that Ally and I claim our necessary introvert time. We sip tea, we have nice conversations, and we enjoy the quiet. It is dubbed "Dickens Night" in honor of Little Dorrit, which was our excuse for our introvert time. Each night we would watch a couple episodes or so, until we finished the series (which we did a couple of days ago.) and come away feeling ready to dive back into our busy days of socialization with a renewed vigor. Sadly, Little Dorrit ran out of episodes, so Dickens Night is on hold until we proceed with Our Mutual Friend some time next week. It's a nice pattern to have, let me tell you. I get to spend time with Ally, we get our introvert time, and we go to breakfast the next day all ready to make conversation with our fellowman. You see, everyone's happy!

I suppose the thing I want to emphasize in making this post is the importance of carving out introvert time for yourself. It is important to find a time of quiet, a time to recharge. It is important to go with that natural inclination, you will know the right time for quiet and the right time to be social. Go with what makes you happiest. Now, I'm not saying don't push yourself. By all means, go outside your comfort zone, do something bold, bright, courageous, just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Don't do it because you think you have to. Don't do it because you're trying to make yourself be like everyone else and enjoying their pleasures and pastimes rather than your own. Do it because you want to.

To finish as a began, with some very nice, very true quotes (in fact you really should read this book. It's very good.)

“The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers -- of persistence, concentration, and insight -- to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.” 
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to.” 
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking